The Power of Positive Drinking
by Berry's Ambitions
Summary: [One-shot, borderline crack] New Year's Eve is overrated. [Lizard/Missy]


_**The Power of Positive Drinking**_

_**By Berry's Ambitions**_

**A/N: Finally, a new HHE one-shot from me. I've been wanting to write for Lissy (as I like to call this pairing) for a while and decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to do it. Opinions on this piece would be fantastic, as out there as it is. It's pretty simple and random but it wouldn't have worked any other way. Have fun reading!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own _The Hills Have Eyes_.**

**WARNING: Suggestive themes, language and alcohol use.**

* * *

"What do you want?"

The man standing in front of her merely snickers at her blunt words. "Nice greeting," Lizard comments, leaning against the railing. "It astounds me how few friends you have."

Missy places her hands on her hips. "Isn't there somewhere you have to be?" she asks pointedly. "It's New Year's Eve."

"That's kinda why I'm here."

There's something about the way he's looking at her that makes Missy vaguely uncomfortable. "Well what then?" She eyes him critically, particularly the beer can in his hand. "You're kidding yourself if you think I'm gonna drive you home."

Lizard waves his free hand non-chalantly. "Nah, Cham's got that covered." He sets down the can on the railing and leans forward. "Did you know it's good luck to kiss someone before the start of a new year?"

Missy stares at him, momentarily stunned. "Wow," she finally says, not even bothering to hide the edge in her voice. "You're drunker than I thought."

"Maybe a little," Lizard shrugs. "But I still thought it was worth a try."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, then."

"No you ain't."

Missy allows herself to smirk at this. "No, I'm not," she agrees. Missy's aware that this is her cue to leave, but for whatever unfathomable reason, she decides to humor him. "Why me, Lizard?" she questions. "I mean, you've got plenty of little fangirls just waiting in line to do it." Missy wrinkles her nose at the thought. If other women see something in Lizard, then perhaps she's blind.

Lizard rests one elbow on the railing, effectively knocking his can of beer off and drenching some poor bastard below.

Neither decide to comment on this.

"That's exactly why I came to do it."

She knits her eyebrows together, perplexed. "You _wanted_ to get shot down?" she asks. "Have you become masochistic or something...?"

At this, Lizard grins. "You can't be a sadist _and_ a masochist, now can ya girly?"

"I sincerely hope that's the alcohol talking."

Lizard laughs, and it's then it occurs to Missy that she might actually be_ enjoying_ this conversation.

Which is more disturbing than Lizard himself, in her opinion.

She finds herself glancing at her wristwatch. 11:58 p.m.

"Do _you_ have a ride home?"

She looks up in genuine surprise. Lizard is gazing at her with... is that _concern_ in his gaze?

_No,_ she tells herself. _He's just drunk. Which is why he's talking to you in the first place._

After all, this was Lizard, for God's sake.

"I'm driving myself."

He raises his eyebrows. "You didn't drink?"

She shakes her head. "I never drink." As far as Missy's concerned, nothing good comes out of it.

Lizard tilts his head to the side. "Then why you here?" he inquires. "You hate drinking. You hate people - "

An incredulous laugh escapes her. "Excuse me?"

"I don't blame ya, though," Lizard continues as though she never spoke up. "I can name on one hand how many people whose heads I _don't_ wanna bite off. So... why ya here?"

"I was dropping something off," Missy answers truthfully. "I know the host. She used to live in my apartment. Lent me some silverware."

She's aware that there's only a minute left.

"Silverware?"

Now it's Missy's turn to shrug.

"And here I thought you didn't accept favours," he drawled.

"Depends on the person who's offering," she retorted.

Half a minute.

"Well, I better go find my cuz," Lizard sighs, trying to straighten up. When it becomes apparent that it won't happen, the wild-haired mutant settles on slumping in an apparently comfortable manner. "See ya, Martinez."

Wondering how the hell he's oblivious to the chanting that now surrounds them, Missy takes him by one thin arm, pulling him into her and pressing her lips against his own.

The fit isn't as awkward as she originally thought, what with his marred lip and her rather full ones. And frankly, he isn't that bad of a kisser.

Even if he does taste like Budweiser.

By the time they pull away, it's the start of a new year and everyone's gone ballistic.

_That's my cue to leave,_ Missy decides. She studies the dazed but extremely pleased look on her comrade's face as she adjusts the strap of her purse.

"I'll let Chameleon know where you are on my way out," Missy promises when it becomes apparent that Lizard's not going anywhere. "Thank you for not making me regret that."

He blinks, as if coming to, and suddenly pales.

"Lizard?" The brunette's heart sinks. "Are you..."

"Don't take this personally, alright?"

He then pukes all over her shoes.

Missy closes her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose.

It appears as if she's spoken too soon.

**~The End~**


End file.
